Let your disappointment highlight what needs clarity-in this case, how you’re both feeling about your future together. Think of your disappointment as a sign that says pay attention. Instead of questioning it or hiding it from your boyfriend, use it to guide you. Listen to them-they’ll give you useful information. You can pretend that they don’t exist, but they’ll still be there anyway. Often patients in therapy will come in and tell me something that happened, then follow the story with, “Is it okay to be mad about this, or am I overreacting?” or “I know I shouldn’t be sad, but …” And what I always tell them is this: Your feelings are your feelings. Am I disappointed because he hasn’t picked me yet, or because I have real fears about the longevity of our relationship?Īny advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated! I also know that I love my boyfriend and am dedicated to making our relationship work long-term. So this is my question: Is my disappointment unreasonable? I definitely feel the pull of marriage while I am still young enough to have children. I’m worried he’s finding new ways of putting off our engagement without having to talk to me about it. I can’t imagine him getting me two rings in the same year, given that this is the first piece of jewelry he’s ever bought me. I’ve tried to advocate for myself and tell him that I have my own timeline and expectations, but that I’m willing to give him the time he needs.īut now, with this ring, I wonder whether that’s still in the cards. We’ve talked about marriage and getting engaged, but he also says he thinks we still have some things to work on in our relationship. I wasn’t expecting to get engaged over the holidays-my boyfriend has also said he doesn’t want to propose on a holiday, or my birthday, or some other occasion so that he won’t “ruin it” if the marriage goes badly.

To make matters worse, when I went to the store to get the ring resized, the clerk kept congratulating me and asking me all about my fiancé. After dating for a few years, and living together for the past year and a half, I can’t help but be disappointed. Without saying so outright, he made clear that it was just a ring. For Christmas this year, my boyfriend surprised me with a ring.

Give it to me now